Inner Peace

Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all
the things you have started and never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and
hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off
a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish
Cream, a bottle of Kalhua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old
Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box
of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.